How to Build and Utilize Empathy Skills
What is This Section About?
This section of Trainer University covers how to build and utilize empathy skills to more effectively work with your clients and team and always stay in rapport with them.
Why is This Section Important?
In the workplace, reaching a win/win solution is often the goal. A huge step toward winning is to listen empathetically. Listening is an important skill that many of us take for granted. Have you ever explained a problem to someone and received an answer that showed that he or she didn't understand the problem at all? A big part of listening goes beyond getting the main point and drawing conclusions. Listening empathically, or with feelings, means putting yourself in the speaker's position without getting emotionally involved.
Empathic listening precedes effective feedback because it goes to the root of the concern: the other person's perspective. Listening only to obtain information and form opinions means missing much of what the speaker is saying--the emotions and intensity that make up real communication.
Empathetic Listening
In The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen Covey sets out a seven-part model for effective performance in business and personal life. To compress his entire framework into three paragraphs doesn't do it justice, but for the sake of economy we'll try anyway!
First, Covey recommends taking the time to listen to yourself (habits 1-3) in order to identify your own core values and goals. This step makes it possible for you to behave exactly as you believe the person you wish to be would behave, because it allows you to consult your own values and goals before acting. Thus you act only in ways that are consistent with those values and goals. This step should be repeated regularly as time passes and circumstances change.
This section of Trainer University covers how to build and utilize empathy skills to more effectively work with your clients and team and always stay in rapport with them.
Why is This Section Important?
In the workplace, reaching a win/win solution is often the goal. A huge step toward winning is to listen empathetically. Listening is an important skill that many of us take for granted. Have you ever explained a problem to someone and received an answer that showed that he or she didn't understand the problem at all? A big part of listening goes beyond getting the main point and drawing conclusions. Listening empathically, or with feelings, means putting yourself in the speaker's position without getting emotionally involved.
Empathic listening precedes effective feedback because it goes to the root of the concern: the other person's perspective. Listening only to obtain information and form opinions means missing much of what the speaker is saying--the emotions and intensity that make up real communication.
Empathetic Listening
In The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen Covey sets out a seven-part model for effective performance in business and personal life. To compress his entire framework into three paragraphs doesn't do it justice, but for the sake of economy we'll try anyway!
First, Covey recommends taking the time to listen to yourself (habits 1-3) in order to identify your own core values and goals. This step makes it possible for you to behave exactly as you believe the person you wish to be would behave, because it allows you to consult your own values and goals before acting. Thus you act only in ways that are consistent with those values and goals. This step should be repeated regularly as time passes and circumstances change.
Empathetic Listening
In The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen Covey sets out a seven-part model for effective performance in business and personal life. To compress his entire framework into three paragraphs doesn't do it justice, but for the sake of economy we'll try anyway!
First, Covey recommends taking the time to listen to yourself (habits 1-3) in order to identify your own core values and goals. This step makes it possible for you to behave exactly as you believe the person you wish to be would behave, because it allows you to consult your own values and goals before acting. Thus you act only in ways that are consistent with those values and goals. This step should be repeated regularly as time passes and circumstances change.
Stephen Covey's Seven Habits are:
Second, Covey recommends listening to others (habits 4-6) in order to become aware of the values and goals of others. This enables you to find common ground and thus maintain productive relationships with them.
Third, (habit 7) Covey recommends regularly seeking to improve and reinforce yourself in ways that are important to you.
Time Management flows from self-awareness. Perhaps the most frequently discussed portion of Covey's book is Covey's practical yet profound recommendation regarding time management. Covey promotes weekly planning sessions to line up projects according to how well they fit your core values and goals. He advocates allocating the bulk of your time to tasks you identify as "important" (not to be confused with merely "urgent") by virtue of being closest to your core values and goals. Ideally tasks that you identify as less important will occupy little or none of your time because you will streamline, delegate or drop them altogether.
Empathic Listening is essential to effective communication. Another frequently discussed section of the book is Habit 5 ("First Seek to Understand...”) Covey emphasizes the importance, the power, and in some situations the necessity of not merely going through the mechanical responses that might be required for ordinary listening, but opening oneself to the talker to the point where one can actually feel what they are feeling. Covey, as others, believes that the only way to establish communication in some professional and personal situations is by becoming, in small part, the person you are listening to. He uses the words "sensing" (others call it "intuition") to describe the information a listener can perceive through deep, empathic listening.
The experience Covey describes, standing for a moment in another's shoes and seeing the world through their eyes, is something everyone is capable of, but most of us rarely (if ever) deliberately do. Covey notes that it takes time to listen empathically and practice to become adept at it, but the reward is a whole new level of communication and problem solving because a person acquires the ability to see a situation simultaneously from multiple points of view.
Listening is essential to effectiveness as a speaker. Covey also points out that to be an effective speaker one has to absorb feedback from (listen to) one's audience and adjust one's presentations according to what works most effectively for them.
Empathy skills - for relationships, communications, complaints, customer retention, conflict and levels of listening types Empathy and trust are a platform for effective understanding, communication and relationships. Empathy and trust are essential to develop solutions, win and retain business, and avoiding or diffusing conflict. Empathy and trust are essential for handling complaints and retaining customers.
As public relations professionals, we need to be more effective communicators to be successful in business - and in life. The 'steps of the sale', persuasion, closing techniques, features and benefits do not build rapport or relationships - empathy, trust, understanding and sympathetic communications do. One-sided persuasion is not sustainable and is often insulting, especially when handling complaints. Trust and empathy are far more important in achieving and sustaining successful personal and business relationships.
A certain legacy of the days of the hard-sell is that many consumers and business people are more reluctant to expose themselves to situations where they may be asked to make a decision. This places extra pressure on the process of arriving at a deal, and very special skills are now needed to manage the situations in which business is done.
At Trainer Communications, communication, management and self-development refer in one way or another to the importance of empathy - really understanding the other person, whether it is a client or colleague’s position and feelings. Being able to 'step back,' and achieve a detachment from our own emotions, is essential for effective, constructive relationships.
Whether for selling, customer retention, handling complaints, or diffusing conflict, empathy helps.
The Benefits of Empathic Listening
Empathic listening is listening with the intent to understand both the other person’s frame of reference and their feelings. All of your attention is on the other person. Listening empathically requires using more than just your ears. It relies on all your senses, seeing, hearing, feeling and intuiting, and this requires a great deal of energy. Effective empathic listening sends the message “I understand your problem and how you feel about it. What you are saying is important to me, and I am not judging you.”
Among its benefits, empathic listening,
Even when the conflict is not resolved during mediation, the listening process can have a profound impact on the parties.
First, Covey recommends taking the time to listen to yourself (habits 1-3) in order to identify your own core values and goals. This step makes it possible for you to behave exactly as you believe the person you wish to be would behave, because it allows you to consult your own values and goals before acting. Thus you act only in ways that are consistent with those values and goals. This step should be repeated regularly as time passes and circumstances change.
Stephen Covey's Seven Habits are:
- Be proactive;
- Begin with the end in mind;
- Put first things first;
- Think win/win;
- Seek first to understand, then to be understood;
- Synergize;
- Sharpen the saw.
Second, Covey recommends listening to others (habits 4-6) in order to become aware of the values and goals of others. This enables you to find common ground and thus maintain productive relationships with them.
Third, (habit 7) Covey recommends regularly seeking to improve and reinforce yourself in ways that are important to you.
Time Management flows from self-awareness. Perhaps the most frequently discussed portion of Covey's book is Covey's practical yet profound recommendation regarding time management. Covey promotes weekly planning sessions to line up projects according to how well they fit your core values and goals. He advocates allocating the bulk of your time to tasks you identify as "important" (not to be confused with merely "urgent") by virtue of being closest to your core values and goals. Ideally tasks that you identify as less important will occupy little or none of your time because you will streamline, delegate or drop them altogether.
Empathic Listening is essential to effective communication. Another frequently discussed section of the book is Habit 5 ("First Seek to Understand...”) Covey emphasizes the importance, the power, and in some situations the necessity of not merely going through the mechanical responses that might be required for ordinary listening, but opening oneself to the talker to the point where one can actually feel what they are feeling. Covey, as others, believes that the only way to establish communication in some professional and personal situations is by becoming, in small part, the person you are listening to. He uses the words "sensing" (others call it "intuition") to describe the information a listener can perceive through deep, empathic listening.
The experience Covey describes, standing for a moment in another's shoes and seeing the world through their eyes, is something everyone is capable of, but most of us rarely (if ever) deliberately do. Covey notes that it takes time to listen empathically and practice to become adept at it, but the reward is a whole new level of communication and problem solving because a person acquires the ability to see a situation simultaneously from multiple points of view.
Listening is essential to effectiveness as a speaker. Covey also points out that to be an effective speaker one has to absorb feedback from (listen to) one's audience and adjust one's presentations according to what works most effectively for them.
Empathy skills - for relationships, communications, complaints, customer retention, conflict and levels of listening types Empathy and trust are a platform for effective understanding, communication and relationships. Empathy and trust are essential to develop solutions, win and retain business, and avoiding or diffusing conflict. Empathy and trust are essential for handling complaints and retaining customers.
As public relations professionals, we need to be more effective communicators to be successful in business - and in life. The 'steps of the sale', persuasion, closing techniques, features and benefits do not build rapport or relationships - empathy, trust, understanding and sympathetic communications do. One-sided persuasion is not sustainable and is often insulting, especially when handling complaints. Trust and empathy are far more important in achieving and sustaining successful personal and business relationships.
A certain legacy of the days of the hard-sell is that many consumers and business people are more reluctant to expose themselves to situations where they may be asked to make a decision. This places extra pressure on the process of arriving at a deal, and very special skills are now needed to manage the situations in which business is done.
At Trainer Communications, communication, management and self-development refer in one way or another to the importance of empathy - really understanding the other person, whether it is a client or colleague’s position and feelings. Being able to 'step back,' and achieve a detachment from our own emotions, is essential for effective, constructive relationships.
Whether for selling, customer retention, handling complaints, or diffusing conflict, empathy helps.
The Benefits of Empathic Listening
Empathic listening is listening with the intent to understand both the other person’s frame of reference and their feelings. All of your attention is on the other person. Listening empathically requires using more than just your ears. It relies on all your senses, seeing, hearing, feeling and intuiting, and this requires a great deal of energy. Effective empathic listening sends the message “I understand your problem and how you feel about it. What you are saying is important to me, and I am not judging you.”
Among its benefits, empathic listening,
- Builds trust and respect,
- Enables the disputants to release their emotions,
- Reduces tensions
- Encourages the surfacing of information, and
- Creates a safe environment that is conducive to collaborative problem solving.
Even when the conflict is not resolved during mediation, the listening process can have a profound impact on the parties.